My days are fuller the ever and that has caused me to really think about how I spend them. Am I working too much? Am I working hard enough? Am I taking enough time with the kids? And my husband, is he feeling loved by me? How can I better keep up with the house? What about my friends whom I love do dearly, do they feel cared for? And my family, am I making time for them?
My days are full! I wouldn’t want them any other way but I also need to be aware of where my time is spent each moment. I want to love well, work hard and deepen relationships. I want to grow and learn everyday. Life is short and I want nothing but to live life to the fullest and do it well.
One of my biggest concern always is if I am doing “mama” well. Am I listening to my kids needs? The spoken needs and the unspoken? Am I rejoicing in the little achievements? Am I being aware that each kids needs are different and they feel loved differently? I mean think about it, they won’t be under my roof for that long and so the time I have with them must be done well. No, “well” doesn’t mean perfect… believe me, I am far from it! I fail everyday!
I latch on to the little things that makes me aware that I am must be doing something right. Like even though Audrey and I battled today she ended the day hugging me and saying how much she loves me. Or when Greyson laid in bed last night telling me how cool it is that God gave us each a heart. Or Kelsey made necklaces to give to people (she loves to serve and give her time to others). I should write these moments down more because for me they keep me going. Although you may not get it, since those moments are so personal but we all have those moments right? Those tiny actions or the words spoken that you feel deeper then anyone can understand. My post about blogging everyday that I wrote was inspired because of my husband words. I found out tonight he had no idea the impact he had on me until he saw that post, but his words stuck with me, challenged me and his words impacted me in deep ways.
I feel deeply. Most people don’t realize that about me because I speak with few words at times or my quiet personality comes across as I don’t care, but the reality is that that I do feel deeply, I do think about what is said (sometimes overthink) and I apply what I can from the conversation. I have learned I don’t voice my thoughts, feelings, and ideas because of fear but I am learning more then ever in the last few months that I would rather over communicate then have misunderstandings or frustrations tucked inside. I have also learned that if I don’t voice the good or voice my ideas and hopes or wants that they can never come to life. Sometimes when communication is needed but I am battling fear, I cry with anxiety as I try to talk but I am pushing through and learning it’s okay to voice my thoughts and fear steals what is good even though it seems hard. Communication causes people to grow, to learn, to feel, to be set free, to love well, and to have grace with each other. The people in my life know that I want to communicate openly and with that desire comes me opening up more. The new relationships in my life have been awesome because the topic of “don’t be weird just talk” has come up and so those relationships are growing quickly. There is an openness right way and I love it. This causes relationships to grow to new heights and it is beautiful! Communication also teaches you about yourself. You learn where you communicate well and where you need growth. As I learn to communicate better, I am learning to love who I am more which also brings confidence, and confidence leads to feeling empowered to do YOU and do all that you love and dream of doing!
So talk openly, work hard, love well, step out of your comfort zone and just be YOU.