You first, me second, what kind of love is this?

To say that marriage is easy would be an absolute lie. To say that it is the best thing that has ever happened to us would be the absolute truth. We are going on twelve years this month! Twelve years of love, intimacy, adventure, laughter, tears, days we did’t want to continue, and days that we couldn’t image life without each other. These last twelve years have brought us to today and we love what our life is and look forward to what is ahead. We are thankful we fought for our marriage and we see how much deeper our love is for each other.  As a married couple, photographer duo we are asked often what we would share about marriage. The response we always give is “it’s really hard but choose to love and fight no matter what because it is the best thing that has ever happened to us.”

Marriage takes work, it takes a commitment like no other. Tears are shed. Anger stirs. Sad days occur. Fights happen. Marriage is hard. 

Marriage is filled with laughter. Every adventure is best with each other. We always say we are each others favorite adventure partner! We are best friends. We have seen the best sides of each other and the most ugly. We continue to choose YES!

But ya know what else happens, love. Love happens. A love that is like no other. A love that takes sacrifice. A love that denies yourself to love the other first.  A love that is deeper then you can imagine. Love overcomes the fights and it overpowers anger. This type of love is one that comes from Jesus. It is the strongest kind. It is a kind of love that allows one to forgive even the deepest hurt that we may cause. We are thankful for this kind of love that overwhelms us and draws us close to each other. We are thankful we continue to say YES to each other. Till death due us part. We are in it no matter what!  

It is not just love that binds us, but it is laughter. I, Tish, tend to ask any older couple who has been married 50/60 plus years for their best marriage advice and I often am told to remember to laugh (and pray always). I always smile and ask myself if I laugh enough in our marriage. Matt brings a lot of laughter to our home, to our marriage and I am thankful. Those older couples always emphasize that we need to laugh over the petty fights. That’s wise, but we are still learning to do that, or should I say I am still learning to do that. Laughter comes easy when life is good. Laughter isn’t always easy in the times that aren’t “fun” or when our pride is in the way but those older couples said as soon as you learn to laugh in those times, your marriage will grow in ways you could never dream of. (I sure hope I learn to laugh more, sooner then later!!)

So what do we have to say about marriage? Choose to love and laugh. Choose to fight for best, choose to forgive, pray, laugh, have grace and choose to set yourself aside and love the other person more then yourself. 

This world says to love yourself first and then love others, we disagree. We believe if you spent your days loving yourself first then really how long until you could love someone else? The world says to work on you first, but really when don’t we need to work on ourselves. We are selfish humans. Focusing on “me me me” would be a way of life that would never end. We have already mastered putting ourselves first, it comes naturally. Get of your comfort zone (that zone that is me, myself and I) and love others first. We believe when we love others first we find more joy, more hope, and more freedom in this life. We find contentment. We see our marriage grow and we see growth in all our other relationships when we extend this kind of love. When we love someone first that then compels the other to love outside of themselves too. Everyone ends up feeling LOVED so why not extend this sacrificial love?

How can you go out your way to love your husband, wife, friend, sister, father or even a stranger with a love that sets you aside?

This is by far our favorite Aribnb to date, OURS. We felt like it was a work of art yet a place we could kick back and relax. We were inspired. We loved the attention to detail and of course all the plants. Be sure to book this place or the second one they created when you are in the LA area. You can visit their shop online!


These images were taken by the amazing Kinsey